Last week we had our annual week long trip for the Fourth of July to Lake Chelan with my family. It was truly a wonderful week. I think that with children, it was the easiest trip we have had so far. It is nice to see how things will get easier as the children grow. But then of course, we are starting over in a way this September by adding another baby :)
While I really enjoyed the week, by the end of it I was sort of freaking out. The trip to Chelan is like a checkpoint halfway through the year for me. As we have gone for over twenty years now, it is as traditional and reflective as beginning a New Year. I usually leave feeling very excited for the remainder of the year, as I enjoy the second half much more and know that time will slip by so fast and soon it will be Christmas.
This is my first pregnancy ever that I wish would slow down! Usually I am ready to be done at like five months. Not this time. As the end of our trip approached, I began feeling overwhelmed and stressed by how soon this baby will be here. Only about 10 more weeks! And we have SO MUCH to do! My usual excitement about the rest of the year turned to anxiety last week. How are we going to get it all done?
Well, most likely, we won't. But we are trying hard. We came home and spent the weekend being super-productive. This momentum continued for a couple of days. And then yesterday afternoon, in the middle of a huge homeschooling organizational project, I crashed. I was DONE and remained on the couch for the rest of the day. The homeschooling organization is still strewn about all over my kitchen counters and table.
The challenge seems to be as always, finding the right balance. Being productive without overdoing it. Trying to check things off the list while also letting some things go. Setting myself up for the easiest transition possible with a new baby and a new school year, while knowing that this transition is never "easy." Taking care of my family while also taking care of myself. Letting myself enjoy this pregnancy, savor it, feel the joy and anticipation of a new life coming, and keep the stress to a minimum.
Keeping the stress to a minimum does not mean that I should just let it all go. That would stress me out even more! I have to accomplish the things that I can and feel comfortable letting some things go and saying no. For me, it's a tall order.
I spent time today making a LONG list of items that will ideally get done before the baby's arrival. Making a list feels good. Crossing out items feels even better. It will not all get done. That is certain. But in short intervals between now and September 22nd, I hope to make a big dent.
