Redefining Prayer

When I was younger, I would internally mock the people I encountered who were obviously inspired by nature. It seemed so cheesy to me. It didn't feel real. Growing up in the Northwest, I suppose I have been spoiled by all of the breathtaking scenery I witness everyday. The grass really is greener here! Furthermore, as a girl I could look out the window of my room to see what is now the Kruckeberg Botanic Garden which is just behind my parents' property. Not too shabby!

So in my youth, when someone would be awed by let's say the mountains that I saw every single day, I would internally roll my eyes and mock them in my mind. "Oooooooo. Mountains. They're like really big. And there's like snow on them and stuff. Wooow. Sooooo amazing."

Mount Rainier from northwest (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Of course I wouldn't let any of this show to whomever I was mocking. I would probably just nod and act like I was moved by nature too. But I wasn't. I just didn't get it. And while writing this now, it is occurring to me that I may really have been quite a brat.

I'll even admit that this continued some into adulthood. Early in our relationship, Jason and I would be driving and he would point out a small waterfall while we traveled over Steven's Pass or Mount Rainier on a sunny day. I would shrug my shoulders in response. I'd seen it a million times.

Thank goodness this aloofness toward my surroundings is a part of immaturity that I have grown past. Not only have I grown past this attitude, but I find myself evolving more and more into someone who craves being outdoors, who needs it, who is refreshed and re-energized by it, who finds peace, rest and wonder in it.

Last night, I began the post-children's-bedtime part of my evening sitting on the couch to watch So You Think You Can Dance. As I love dance, it is a show that I would like to get into. But because the actual dancing only takes up like five percent of the show and the rest is commercials and annoying judges, I got bored. I ended up getting on my computer, researching novels I would like to read and putting them on hold with our library--one of my absolute favorite pastimes. But when that was complete, I felt restless. So at about 8:45, I grabbed a blanket, some iced tea, a sliced peach and the book I've been intimidated to really begin, Shantaram. I spent the next hour outside reading.

And at the end of that hour, I found myself collected.

This is noteworthy because for various reasons, I have felt a little out of sorts the past few weeks. This disorientation of my self has been accumulating within me, more and more, so much so that yesterday morning I actually had a small pit beginning to grow in my stomach.

When I begin to feel this way, I often find that I am not spending much time in prayer or reflection. As a cradle Catholic, this brings on guilt. I do not pray a daily rosary. I do not go to daily Mass. I do not read my Bible every day. My mind tells me, "If you were doing those things, you wouldn't be feeling this way!" And while I understand the rosary now and like to pray it sometimes; while I appreciate and love the Mass and find joy in it in a way that I never did in my youth; while I do read my Bible frequently and go to it for answers--none of these things are easily put into my daily routine.

Easily. That is a key word in that sentence. And it is one that brings on guilt. It means that if I really made some of these things a priority, then I would make time for them. But in "making them a priority," I feel that they can often lose their purpose. They simply become something to check off the to-do list, rather than a genuine connection with God.

St. Ignatius, founder of the Jesuits, believed that God is everywhere and in everything. This means that spending time outside, in God's creation, in itself can be a prayer when I am doing it with reflection, purpose and gratitude.

English: Lake Washington, Seattle (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I can stretch this philosophy further by realizing prayer can also be taking the time to find quiet at the end of the day to read a novel and find God in the prose of my fellow man, last night in the case of Gregory David Roberts' words in Shantaram. By reading with reflection and intention, I can further understand another human's condition, perspective and experience.



During this glorious week of summer in Seattle, I am able to find God all around me--in the waves of Lake Washington, in my vegetable garden, in Veronica's hugs, in my boys' questions, in a great novel and in my backyard.

What better prayer is there than to seek out God in all that we see and do?

Mother's Day Out?

I recently spoke about a book that I am rereading, A Mother's Rule of Life.  I read it a few years ago, related to a lot of it and found many really helpful ideas.

One idea that I did not really relate to was the idea of a Mother's Day Out. Holly Pierlot, the author, explains how every other week she has a Saturday to herself. She is able to leave the house and the children to her husband and come home only when she is ready, feeling rejuvenated for her role in motherhood for the next two weeks. While this all sounded fantastic three years ago, it seemed luxurious and not like something that was necessary in my life at the time. Honestly, I may have even judged her for this "indulgence."

Times have changed. When reading this book now, I think this concept is one of the ideas that has spoken to me the most. It no longer seemed like a luxury, but a necessity.

What's the difference between then and now? Well, we have three children now. Homeschooling requires more time and energy then it did then. And while we are still active in Engaged Encounter, I have also taken on a more active role in our parish.

For several months now, I have felt a strong need for a break. A real break. Not just reading for seven minutes while I eat a sandwich before I do the dishes from lunch. Jason recognized this need in me, perhaps because I mentioned it several times in tears. Jason understands and is a compassionate rock of strength and love for me. It was he that first suggested that I get a "day off" before I even began rereading Holly's explanation of it.

Even though I feel that this is a sincere, very real need of mine, it still makes me feel guilty. I know so many other moms that don't get days off and they seem to be handling motherhood just fine. Many of them have more children than I do and are also homeschooling. I also feel guilty that I need to devote one of our weekend days entirely to myself. It seems selfish. Jason works hard all week too. What about Father's Day Out?

Of course, if Jason expressed that he also wanted days scheduled like this for him, then we would make that happen. But Jason doesn't need to get away from the house and the children like I do. He's happy to be home.

Jenny says that I'm not allowed to feel guilty about this and that she is my advocate. What a nice thought!

For now, I think we will try to make a Mother's Day Out scheduled once a month. That seems sufficient. But maybe if I was homeschooling five children like Holly, I would need this every two weeks like she does.

So today is my first official day off. What will I do with myself? Well, I am starting with my first zumba class with a new friend. I am also hopeful to get some reading and writing done. Maybe a little shopping. I will be going to Confession and perhaps to evening Mass. And I will end the day by getting a drink with Jenny.

Sounds like absolute bliss. Thanks, honey - I needed it :)

Sanctuary

(Below are parts of the definitions as given on Dictionary.com)

sanc-tu-ar-y

     7. Any place of refuge; asylum.

ref-uge

     1. Shelter or protection from danger, trouble, etc.: to take refuge from a storm.
     2. A place of shelter, protection, or safety.
     3. Anything to which one has recourse for aid, relief, or escape.

For a long time, my best friend Jenny and I have used the word "sanctuary" as a reminder for one another. It is such a strong, foundational part of our friendship that when Veronica was born, Jenny had this sign made for me as a gift.

This sign hangs on my kitchen wall, where I can see it everyday.

We need sanctuary whenever our lives are overwhelming, when we are stressed, when we are bone tired, when our children are driving us crazy, when there is change and thus chaos in our lives, when we are hormonal, when we feel down or depressed, when someone has hurt our feelings or made us angry or when we are trying to make a difficult decision. So, basically this means that we need sanctuary all the time. It has to be a regular part of our lives.

So, what is sanctuary? Sanctuary can mean many different things. Most often for Jenny and I, a really long chat on the phone with one another is our form of refuge. If we are experiencing a particularly challenging day, we may both savor a glass of wine during that conversation. Even better is a day spent together while our children play and we can talk for hours on end in one of our homes. Lunch often includes a glass (or two) of wine on these days as well. In the summer time, we try to schedule these days weekly and if the weather cooperates, they often take place at a beach on Lake Washington with a picnic lunch.

The Biblical word for this is "Sabbath."

Thus says the Lord: Take care for the sake of your lives, and do not bear a burden on the Sabbath day or do any work, but keep the Sabbath day holy, as I commanded your fathers. Jeremiah 17: 21-22

Our American culture is terrible at this. Our society says that our value is found in how much work we get done and how much money we make. Who cares how well you know how to rest?

But God knows otherwise - even He took the seventh day to rest! Think about that. God didn't need to rest; He is all powerful. But rest is so worthwhile and so important that even God made time for it.

So should you!

I realize I'm stating the obvious, but we are not God. We actually do need rest. Furthermore, our efforts in our work will be much more productive if we take the time to rest.

But even as I write this, that idea bothers me. We shouldn't seek out time for rest simply so we can be better workers. I can just see that--Hurry up and rest so you can get back to work! Ha! That's completely missing the point. Rather, we should seek out rest simply for the sake of resting.

This resting, or sanctuary as Jenny and I call it, is an imperative part of a fulfilling, purposeful, daily life.

How can you create more sanctuary in your life? Do you know someone who is overwhelmed right now? What could you do to help them create some sanctuary?

Jenny and I having some "Sanctuary" last summer with our babes in tow.