Raising sons is an ongoing adventure, one filled with a parade of trucks, scraped knees, spilled milk and imagination. As a woman, I sometimes wonder what I can offer my two boys as they prepare to grow into men. What could I possibly know about being a man? But then I remember that I do have an advantage in this area, one that provides infinite help and guidance: I am married to a man who I am madly in love with, who happens to be my best friend and who is an absolutely marvelous father.
Jason and I dropped our sons off on Thursday evening at my parents so that we could be ready for an Engaged Encounter weekend beginning on Friday. As we hardly ever have a night with the boys away from home, we wanted to take advantage of the opportunity and do something romantic together, something to draw us closer to one another before our special weekend.
So what did we do? Naturally, we went to see Inglourious Basterds.
But in all seriousness, there was a time in our relationship when viewing Quentin Tarantino films together truly was romantic, for it was something that we both enjoyed and would assuredly spark much intriguing conversation, accented with moments of debate, laughter and thoughtfulness.
However, it seems that I have entered a new season in my life in which sensationalized, violent, vengeful movies actually disgust and anger me. When did this happen? Only a few short years ago, I looked down on the pitiful saps who couldn't stomach the fake blood and guts of Hollywood, with skins so thin that they found offense at the slightest provocation. Is this just another inevitability of motherhood? As Father Treacy so eloquently stated this weekend, no mother raises her boy to kill. So then, as mothers, can we not stand to see actors pretend to kill, savagely beat and scalp other actors? Do the ideals we keep for our children reach as far as the DVD we get in the mail from Netflix? I'm not sure.
But all of this forces me to further wonder, if I have changed this much in a few years, who will I be five years from now? Twenty-five years from now? It is frightening, exciting, overwhelming and bewildering to know that I really don't know the person I will become.
I am reminded of Stevie Nicks singing the melancholy, insightful lyrics, "Can I sail thru the changing ocean tides? Can I handle the seasons of my life? Well, Ive been afraid of changing
Jason and I dropped our sons off on Thursday evening at my parents so that we could be ready for an Engaged Encounter weekend beginning on Friday. As we hardly ever have a night with the boys away from home, we wanted to take advantage of the opportunity and do something romantic together, something to draw us closer to one another before our special weekend.
So what did we do? Naturally, we went to see Inglourious Basterds.
But in all seriousness, there was a time in our relationship when viewing Quentin Tarantino films together truly was romantic, for it was something that we both enjoyed and would assuredly spark much intriguing conversation, accented with moments of debate, laughter and thoughtfulness.
However, it seems that I have entered a new season in my life in which sensationalized, violent, vengeful movies actually disgust and anger me. When did this happen? Only a few short years ago, I looked down on the pitiful saps who couldn't stomach the fake blood and guts of Hollywood, with skins so thin that they found offense at the slightest provocation. Is this just another inevitability of motherhood? As Father Treacy so eloquently stated this weekend, no mother raises her boy to kill. So then, as mothers, can we not stand to see actors pretend to kill, savagely beat and scalp other actors? Do the ideals we keep for our children reach as far as the DVD we get in the mail from Netflix? I'm not sure.
But all of this forces me to further wonder, if I have changed this much in a few years, who will I be five years from now? Twenty-five years from now? It is frightening, exciting, overwhelming and bewildering to know that I really don't know the person I will become.
I am reminded of Stevie Nicks singing the melancholy, insightful lyrics, "Can I sail thru the changing ocean tides? Can I handle the seasons of my life? Well, Ive been afraid of changing
cause Ive built my life around you, but time makes you bolder. Children get older and I'm getting older too."
Despite any uncertainty, I do know one thing. Besides death, nothing will separate me from my constant Jason. No doom or crises or daily monotony will divide us. There is no ruining of us, for we will live and grow together just as we both sign every letter to one another . . . Always and Forever.
It is this love that is my grandest blessing not only as a wife, but as a mother. Jason and I firmly believe that by putting each other first, we grant our children the most powerful gift that we could ever bestow on them, for they live every day in the safety and security of their parents' love. It is our hope that through witnessing the strength of our bond, they may have some glimpse into God's love for all of us. It may seem idealist, but that's because it is. We know that.
But I also know that I have seen God's light . . . Every day . . . In Jason.
I dare to dream that the seeds we plant into our relationship now will not only produce benefits for us. I dream of a day when I sit in the front pew of a Church. I watch my son's eyes light up. He stands handsomely in a tuxedo, gazing at his pretty bride walking down the aisle. Hand in hand, they recite their vows and begin the intertwining of their lives.
I dream that my sons will one day make good husbands. Good fathers.
And I am reassured each morning as I wake to see the beloved face sleeping on the pillow beside me, his breath slow and steady. I am reassured, because with Jason as their father, how could they not?
And as I make this realization, a twinge of anxiety passes through me, for I know that when they are ready to become good husbands and fathers, I will not be ready to let them go.
But the worry is lessened as I picture Jason sitting beside me on that pew, holding my hand, my steadfast companion as I navigate through the many seasons of my life.
"Sunrise Sunset"
From Fiddler on the Roof
Sung by Tevye and Golde as they watch the wedding ceremony of their eldest daughter
Is this the little girl I carried?
Despite any uncertainty, I do know one thing. Besides death, nothing will separate me from my constant Jason. No doom or crises or daily monotony will divide us. There is no ruining of us, for we will live and grow together just as we both sign every letter to one another . . . Always and Forever.
It is this love that is my grandest blessing not only as a wife, but as a mother. Jason and I firmly believe that by putting each other first, we grant our children the most powerful gift that we could ever bestow on them, for they live every day in the safety and security of their parents' love. It is our hope that through witnessing the strength of our bond, they may have some glimpse into God's love for all of us. It may seem idealist, but that's because it is. We know that.
But I also know that I have seen God's light . . . Every day . . . In Jason.
I dare to dream that the seeds we plant into our relationship now will not only produce benefits for us. I dream of a day when I sit in the front pew of a Church. I watch my son's eyes light up. He stands handsomely in a tuxedo, gazing at his pretty bride walking down the aisle. Hand in hand, they recite their vows and begin the intertwining of their lives.
I dream that my sons will one day make good husbands. Good fathers.
And I am reassured each morning as I wake to see the beloved face sleeping on the pillow beside me, his breath slow and steady. I am reassured, because with Jason as their father, how could they not?
And as I make this realization, a twinge of anxiety passes through me, for I know that when they are ready to become good husbands and fathers, I will not be ready to let them go.
But the worry is lessened as I picture Jason sitting beside me on that pew, holding my hand, my steadfast companion as I navigate through the many seasons of my life.
"Sunrise Sunset"
From Fiddler on the Roof
Sung by Tevye and Golde as they watch the wedding ceremony of their eldest daughter
Is this the little girl I carried?
Is this the little boy at play?I don't remember growing olderWhen did they?When did she get to be a beauty?When did he get to be so tall?Wasn't it yesterdayWhen they were small? Sunrise, sunsetSunrise, sunsetSwiftly flow the daysSeedlings turn overnight to sunflowersBlossoming even as we gaze Sunrise, sunsetSunrise, sunsetSwiftly fly the yearsOne season following anotherLaden with happiness and tears What words of wisdom can I give them?How can I help to ease their way?Now they must learn from one anotherDay by dayThey look so natural together
Just like two newlyweds should beIs there a canopy in store for me? Sunrise, sunsetSunrise, sunsetSwiftly flow the daysSeedlings turn overnight to sunflowersBlossoming even as we gaze Sunrise, sunsetSunrise, sunsetSwiftly fly the yearsOne season following anotherLaden with happiness and tears 
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