Mamma Vintage: Being a "Yes Mom"

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Being a "Yes Mom"

For a while, I have tried to think of myself as a "Yes Mom."

What does this mean? Well, ideally it means that I don't say no unless I actually need to.

So, does it mean that I don't discipline my children? Of course not! It just means that I try to say yes to them as much as I can while still being a good mother and wife.

So it doesn't mean that I don't set limits for my children. That would mean I wasn't a good mom.

So for instance, let's say I'm exhausted and a child wants to read with me. I'd rather read my book, all by myself. But I still want to try and say yes. This doesn't always happen. Sometimes I do just need some time to myself and that's okay.

Another example would be when a child asks me if they can do something. "Mom, can I build a fort?" "Mom, can we get out our bikes?" "Mom, can we make our own board game using Cheerios, Elmer's glue and glitter?" Well, my instinct sometimes is to say, "No!" Especially to the latter. But rather, I may sigh for a very long time and then try to say yes.

Or at least ask myself, "Why not?"

This is not only good for the children, but good for me. I find when I keep this attitude, my confidence as a mother is higher. I find myself thinking, "Yes we can!"

However, there is a paradox to this. In order to have the freedom to be a "Yes Mom," I have had to learn to say no. If I am over-scheduled and have every single hour of my week committed to something, I won't have the time to say yes. The answer much of the time then has to be no, because we have to get ready for the next thing. Or because I'm too tired from the six things we did before.

This is always a work in progress. The word "no" is so often used when you speak fluent Mommy. I just try to keep this idea in the back of my head and to keep it as part of the way I see myself.

How might things change in your home if you decided to say yes more?