Learning From My Husband

We went to Winco yesterday morning. All of us. I hadn't grocery shopped in almost two weeks and the fridge was getting really bare, so it was a very big shop!

Most of the time I do the shopping during the week, but as this past week was especially busy, it didn't happen. When I have to do the shopping on the weekend, I almost always go alone. I mean, why would I bring children grocery shopping if it wasn't completely necessary, right?

Well, Jason thinks otherwise. He would actually prefer for us to all go shopping together. Like as a family. For a long time this baffled me. Doing large grocery shops towing three kids around is not what I would call fun. So most of the time, I don't listen and just do it my way.

However, his way does have its advantages. Jason can entertain Veronica. He can help me get all of our bulk items. He reminds me of things I may have forgotten. He helps bag the groceries. And at home, he brings everything in and helps me unload it all.

What's very touching to me is that Jason loves our family so much that he'll spend time with us however he can get it, even if it's parading through the aisles at Winco. Of course, he is at work all week and does not regularly do the shopping. So I guess there's some novelty for him in this outing. But mostly, I just think he wants to be with me and the kids.

Scripture gives wives very clear direction about how we should treat and listen to our husbands:



 

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the savior of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. ...and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
Ephesians 5:20-24; 33b

 

Well, that's definitely counter-cultural. For a long time, it didn't make a lot of sense to me. But I recently read a daily devotional entry that spoke about this scripture and I've been reflecting on it since. Do I "reverence" my husband? I couldn't see how. This notion didn't even seem relevant in our marriage. We are a team and work together cooperatively. In what way can I submit myself to my husband?

Well, obviously this begs the question of sex - should I submit myself sexually? While I'm not going to share a lot of details about that, I will say that I've been reflecting on what that actually means. And I've come to the conclusion that a wife doesn't necessarily lose any self-respect or dignity with this type of mentality. Not if her husband respects her anyways. I mean, in general, what could be so bad in a marriage about having sex more often?

But this scripture is not only referring to sex. In fact, I believe that sex is only a small part of what it is referring to. What about when I think I know what is best for our family? Or even for myself? What about when Jason tells me that I need to rest more and I disagree and state that I just can't because I simply do not have time? Should I not heed to my husband's advice?

I very much believe that the Lord meant for Jason and I to be together and that He blessed me with Jason for a reason. And one of the main reasons is that Jason challenges me and helps me to grow further into my potential as a human. 

So maybe I should listen to my husband more often. Furthermore, maybe I should seek out his advice more often. What a concept, huh?

So I was keeping this in mind this past week as I planned for us all to go grocery shopping together. It might seem like a pretty small thing, but it's something that Jason likes. And it turns out that he was right - we actually had fun together as a family in the grocery store. What a nice surprise!

Mama Can't Live Without . . .

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Weight watchers.

Let's get real. Weight is an issue for most American women, both of health and confidence. I ran varsity cross country throughout high school. Between that and simply a higher metabolism, I was able to keep my body lean and strong at 135 pounds with a BMI of about 21. I will never be at that weight again, and I'm okay with that.

After high school, many factors changed. Because I was no longer on a sports team, I no longer exercised. My metabolism slowed. I struggled with depression. And I was taking a prescription medication which causes weight gain. This recipe for disaster caused me to gain 40 pounds.

Throughout my early twenties, I began to work on my weight. I worked out. I counted calories. I ate meal replacement bars. But I was either one extreme or the other, all or nothing. I would yo-yo back and forth somewhere between 150 and 170 pounds.

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After my first baby, the weight came off easy. Nursing alone easily brought me down to 155 pounds. Not so much with the second baby. I completely plateaued at 175 pounds. It was about that time that I discovered Weight Watchers.

With Weight Watchers, I brought my weight back down to 155 pounds. Now after my third baby, it's helped me get my weight down to 150 pounds, which was my goal. This brings my BMI to 23.5, which is well within the healthy range. It is a good spot for me. It easily gets me into a pair of size 8 jeans. I don't feel completely horrified when putting on a swim suit and if I'm in a good mood, I might even feel somewhat confident. I've still got my Jo-Lo butt, but Jason likes it, so that's okay :) I'm a few pounds lighter than I was before I had any children. I can easily fit into my wedding dress and even into my bridesmaid dress from my older brother's wedding. Pretty good.

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I could not have done this without Weight Watchers. I really couldn't have. I'm too immature, our life is too full and I just like food too much. Every single week, there are several reasons to eat yummy, delicious food that ends up on my hips. For example, I always think it will be easier to lose or maintain my weight after "the holidays". This just isn't so. With January of 2012 came other obstacles: family gatherings, a weekend away, a girls' night, a date night, family visiting from out of town and several days of what felt like vacation with Jason home because of the snow. 

Weight Watchers keeps me accountable and organized and it helps me to plan ahead for calorie-high events. There are no forbidden foods. I can have wine. I can have cheese. I can have chocolate. I can have butter. I can even have McDonalds if I want to; I just need to plan around it. Weight Watchers helps me to make good choices and prioritize. I recently learned that one cup of Kraft macaroni and cheese is equal to a third of my points for the day. I discovered this after I had already scarfed it down, cold and rubbery, because I was so hungry from not having breakfast that day. SO not worth the points.

I guess this mamma could live without Weight Watchers, but I'd be a chubbier, grumpier, less confident, whale-ish version. No thanks.

If you are serious about trying to lose some weight, even if it's just ten pounds, Weight Watchers can help you get there.

Cuddling with my third babe

Happy Valentine's Day!

Wishing you all a happy Valentine's Day!

We will be celebrating the day by taking lunch to Jason at work, something we get to do every once in a while and that we all really enjoy. It's nice to see Jason in the middle of the day. His building on the Fred Hutch campus has a wonderful break room that overlooks Lake Union, so we can watch the busyness of downtown Seattle and the seaplanes landing and taking off.

Later, Jason and I will have an at-home date night with a grown-up dinner for two after the children are in bed :)

I like Valentine's Day. We never make a really big deal out of it or anything, but it's nice to have a reason to acknowledge, appreciate and spoil the one you love a little bit. Something that really irritates me is when married couples have a cynical, bad attitude about the holiday.


Married couples should feel sincerely grateful for how lucky we are, not groan and complain because they feel obligated to make a loving gesture to their spouse.


The pursuit of love is a common theme of mankind throughout all of history. If you are married, do not diminish the blessing that you have in your spouse! You have what so many others are looking for - a companion for life. All of life's trials and heartache can be made easier to bear through the love you have for your spouse and their love for you. And all of life's blessings and joys can be made richer and deeper through that same love. This is worth celebrating!



You need not buy a $100 bouquet of roses, get reservations at an expensive restaurant or buy your spouse diamond jewelry (although I'm sure that wouldn't hurt). I've heard all of the reasons why Valentine's Day is stupid. I realize that the holiday originates with St. Valentine's martyrdom. I realize that much of it is a marketing scheme.

But so what?  Even so, I am not above writing my darling Jason a love poem, doting on him, holding hands with him on the couch and letting him know how much I love him.

My dear, dear Jason - I adore you. You are my everything.

Trust Your Gut

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Many weeks ago, we began to notice some things about Noah. He knows all of his numbers, but he was having trouble reading a digital clock. Then we observed that he could read it, just as long as he was close enough. Hmmm. We decided to make him an appointment at the eye doctor.

Several other things began to come to mind. The way he never, ever gets his face clean when he washes it, looking into the bathroom mirror. The way he bumps into things. The way when we all see something in the car and point it out, he never sees it before we've driven by. Of course, these could all very easily be due to normal, four-year-old behavior.

The eye appointment lasted three hours. They performed test after test. It turns out that he has astigmatism and is very far-sighted. Noah was such a trooper and so cooperative. I was really proud of him.

The doctor informed me that if we had not caught this so very early on, he would have developed a lazy eye and it would have most likely been permanent. He has a consultation with a specialist at a vision therapy center in a few weeks and will likely be given an eye therapy program in order to strengthen and further train his eye muscles.

He could still develop a lazy eye, but it is much less likely since we caught this so early on. As long as we can get him to wear his glasses regularly and do the exercises, he probably won't. This was all startling to hear. Not that a lazy eye is the end of the world, but it would be an issue that Noah would have to learn to deal with. Between our two sons, he is the less confident, the more sensitive and the very shy one. A lazy eye would have simply magnified all of these traits.

Through lenses, I was literally able to see what Noah sees. It was very eye-opening. The poor little guy sees the world so very blurry and he has to work his eye muscles very hard in order to focus.

He picked out some darling glasses and he's excited about them. We will get them in a couple of weeks. But please, if you can remember, tell him he looks "cool" in his new accessory, not "cute." :)

I'm excited for him to see the world in all its glory for the first time. Noah already appreciates nature and beauty so much. Won't he be astonished when he is able to see it clearly?! I am also curious if this change in view for him will also change his behavior or personality. We shall see.

So this is just a message of encouragement to all parents to really trust your gut when it comes to your children. Don't doubt yourself. You know your child better than anyone else in the world. If you think there may be any issue, it is worth looking into.

Get Your Meez On

How's your meez doing these days? Does it have a nice flow? Okay, I had absolutely no idea what meez is until about three weeks ago. But in Anthony Bordain's hysterical Les Halles Cookbook, he explains, "The absolute foundation of professional cooking, and the most useful thing I can teach you, is the concept of mise en place. As a cook, your 'meez' is your first principle, your belief system, your religion, your Tao."

Well, okay, I'm still not sure what that means but I know I want it. Right?

The fabulous Anthony says, "Get your meez on!"

 Upon further reading, Anthony (we're getting to be on a first name basis, he and I) explains that meez is "the only thing standing between you and chaos. If you have your meez right, it means you have your head together, you are "set up," stocked, organized, ready with everything you need and are likely to need for the tasks at hand. You know where everything is. You know how much you have. (The right amount, of course.) As a result, your mind is similarly arranged, rested, and ready to cook--a perfect mirror of your work area."

So now, understanding meez, how would you say yours is? 

My meez is doing great in some ways, and not so good in others. On the good side, I usually have a meal plan. I go grocery shopping once every week or two. I have a list. I plan for meals. I buy the ingredients for those meals. And then I cook them. I have a little menu board on my fridge and it can usually tell you what we will be enjoying that week. This helps me to remember what I bought all of those ingredients for so that I actually cook those meals!

On the down side, I could definitely be more organized during the actual cooking. Thinking about all of the tools I will need. Setting them out in the appropriate place. Doing prep work beforehand. Really thinking and visualizing my cooking through. Creating a plan.

Good Meez: "Will I cook the sauce, the chicken or the coucous first? What makes the most sense? The chicken needs to be pan-seared and then finished in the oven. If I do that first, I can then cook the couscous and the sauce while the chicken finishes."

Bad, Naughty Meez: "The couscous finished ten minutes ago. I forgot to fluff it with a fork. It's all sticking together and clumping! I guess I'd better season the chicken. Now I can sear it. Oops. The pan's not heated. Five minutes later . . . There. The chicken is seared. Now to put it in the oven. Oops. The oven's not preheated. Twenty minutes later . . . There. The chicken is done. Hmmmmm . . . Maybe I should make a sauce."

For me, one of the greatest ways I could improve my meez is to get started cooking earlier. More time, less chaos.

How about you? How can you get your meez on?