It's confession time.
I like to think I'm a pretty motivated person. I definitely don't see myself as lazy. For me, as for many of my readers I think, I tend to take on too much and have to really consider another activity or get-together before saying 'yes' to it.
For the most part, I'm very efficient. Jenny often can't believe how much I get done in a day. Sometimes others have communicated to me that they're impressed with what I do, especially when they find out that we homeschool.
What Jenny and the others don't know and what even Jason didn't totally understand until today is that I have HTW days. Let me explain . . .
I have a productivity cycle. (Don't worry. This is completely different than a reproductive cycle. While I am sharing some of my secrets in this post, I will not be heading in that direction. Phew!) In this cycle, I go, go, go without much of a break. This week was like that. As soon as one event or item was checked off the list, I was preparing for the next one. This is how I function most of the time. I like to be prepared and organized; meal planning and grocery shopping for two weeks at a time, getting clothes out and bags packed with necessary items for the next day's events the night before, getting the coffee maker prepped for the next morning at night, etc, etc. My brain seems to always be asking, "What else can I get done? What's next? How can I get more prepared for it?"
But of course I can't keep that up. No one could. So after a certain amount of time, I have an HTW day. What's HTW? Hit The Wall. The amount of time between my HTW days varies, depending on time availability, what my productivity level has been, stress levels and I'm sure, hormone levels. So yes, when I'm pregnant, there are definitely more HTW days.
In more detail, an HTW day looks like this: I find some minute discomfort and exaggerate it to myself and to others. A slight headache becomes so bothersome that I just can't do my life that day. Everything that I planned to get done that day gets put on hold. I watch too much TV; often movies and sitcoms that I've already seen ten times--Harry Potter, Sex and the City, Keeping Up With the Kardashians, Gone With the Wind, Overboard and Everybody Loves Raymond are some of my favorites. I eat crap. I don't exercise. The dishes stack up in the sink. The laundry piles up. Meals consist of the easiest possibility; leftovers, cereal, popcorn, cheese and crackers, whatever. I'm less patient and interactive with my children. I read more. I write more. I'm on Facebook more. Anything I don't feel up to doing, I cancel.
For instance, this morning when the alarm went off, my stomach felt just slightly upset. In my half-asleep state, I exaggerated this to myself and to Jason, saying that my stomach was really upset and I couldn't go to Church. After I took a TUMS, listened to Jason taking a shower and woke up some more, I decided to rally and join the family for Church.
But when we got home, I got back into pajamas and again blamed my upset stomach for why I couldn't take the dog for a run and asked Jason to take Kahlua and the kids out for a walk so that I could rest for a bit.
Sometimes, I'm even a productive rester :) While resting, I got real. I knew that my stomach was actually fine and that I wasn't being honest with myself. I realized that what I was feeling was just that I had HTW. Hit The Wall.
When Jason returned, I explained this to him and more. I often feel guilty for taking the day off like this. It's never planned. So in order to justify it, I will blow up a small headache or some other minor thing as a reason why I can't be productive or do what I had planned. Furthering my guilt is the dishonesty, small as it may be. And what's more, it is so needless. If I just told Jason that I had Hit The Wall, he would completely understand and would offer to help out all on his own.
In the past, I've felt that I needed a better excuse and thus the exaggeration. But after some reflection today, I've decided that I'm going to just skip the excuses. I'm going to just own it and be honest with myself and Jason about my productivity cycle. I work hard. And eventually I need to rest hard.
Today I am resting hard. While I can feel like this is irresponsible and lazy, it really is a good choice. First of all, I can. I absolutely can sit around in my pajamas today without much consequence and get back on top of my life tomorrow. And secondly, it is needed. It is needed because of everything I've done in the past week or so. It is further needed as preparation for the coming weeks.
Am I the only one who does this? It feels like I am. It feels like everyone else lives their productive lives without ever hitting the wall. It seems like everyone else makes wise, mature, healthy food choices all of the time. It seems like everyone else sticks to their exercise routines without fail. It seems like everyone else pops out of bed when their alarm goes off. It seems like everyone else joyfully plays with their children all day and enjoys every moment of it.
I realize that's not true. But it's the way it seems.
So that's it - Now you know a secret of mine. HTW Days. And now I will continue with watching the Kardashians :)
Sunday, November 25, 2012
Saturday, November 24, 2012
Let the Festivities Begin!
It's been such a great week. Such a wonderful holiday. And this morning was equally awesome.
It has become tradition to go see Santa the Saturday after Thanksgiving while Adrienne is with us. This way, we can get a great photo of the four of them together each year. We are creating quite a collection.
We parked at Jason's work and took the street car into downtown, an event all on its own as the children and I had never ridden on it.
We walked over to Nordstrom and there didn't seem to be much of line. However, in retrospect I now understand that this was a deception. In the past couple of years, we have gone to Macy's as the line is MUCH shorter. But I do prefer Nordstrom's. It's where my family went when I was a girl. The Santa takes more time with the kids and is, simply put, a prettier Santa. But they no longer take reservations and the line is always ridiculous, hence the switch to Macy's.
This morning there didn't seem to be much of a line at Nordstrom's, so we headed in that direction. Upon arriving, we found out that you have to put your name in and they will text you once they are ready for you to enter Santa's Workshop. The wait was an hour long. We were okay with that and were somewhat committed to going to Santa at Nordstrom's at that point, as the children had all seen that he was there. I wanted to avoid the questions about how he can be taking pictures in two places at once.
During the hour, we went on the carousel, took pictures in front of the tree at Westlake and shared some fresh doughnuts. It was after we had been texted to come back that I got really frustrated. Once in the workshop, we waited another hour! The kids (and the adults) were very tired of waiting by the time it was our turn. The wait at Macy's is usually about twenty minutes total.
I do have to say that Nordstrom's does a good job of helping parents during the wait. They had free cookies and cider and coloring sheets for the kids. We still may go back to Nordstrom's in future years, but I will anticipate the wait time by bringing more snacks, drinks and activities.
And really, the wait was worth it. Knowing that Veronica may be a little nervous about Santa, this week I have been showing pictures to her of Santa, talking about him and asking her if she wants to give him a hug. Her answer was always 'yes.'
So once we turned the corner and she could see him today, she couldn't wait to get to him. She started wriggling in my arms, I brought her over to him, she said, "Hello," and gave him an enormous hug. Even the staff at Nordstom's couldn't believe it. I explained how I had tried to prep her and they said they might add it to their tips on their web site. The picture was great and without tears, a feat that is not always possible with an 18 month old. Before we could leave, Veronica insisted on giving Santa one more hug. I love that girl so much.
I also got to speak to a five year old girl while we were waiting in line and was amused by her Christmas list of about ten things she was going to ask Santa for, including an iPod Touch and another baby, even though she has about a million of them at home. Wow. When our boys were asked what they wanted, they both answered with their one toy that they would like for Christmas. Even Santa was surprised and asked if there was anything else. They actually said no! I was very surprised and also pretty relieved :)
It's been a great start to our holiday season. Tomorrow Jason takes Adrienne home, which is hard because it's such a short visit. But we will have her again the week after Christmas, so at least the wait won't be too long. And while he is gone for a lot of the day, I plan to relax and read my book after all of our holiday action this week. :)
Happy Holidays!
It has become tradition to go see Santa the Saturday after Thanksgiving while Adrienne is with us. This way, we can get a great photo of the four of them together each year. We are creating quite a collection.
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| This is actually Veronica's first Santa picture as I was about five months pregnant with her, taken two years ago. Jason and I had to hop in the picture at the last minute as Noah was scared of Santa. Adrienne wasn't with us because she had to go home unexpectedly. |
We parked at Jason's work and took the street car into downtown, an event all on its own as the children and I had never ridden on it.
This morning there didn't seem to be much of a line at Nordstrom's, so we headed in that direction. Upon arriving, we found out that you have to put your name in and they will text you once they are ready for you to enter Santa's Workshop. The wait was an hour long. We were okay with that and were somewhat committed to going to Santa at Nordstrom's at that point, as the children had all seen that he was there. I wanted to avoid the questions about how he can be taking pictures in two places at once.
During the hour, we went on the carousel, took pictures in front of the tree at Westlake and shared some fresh doughnuts. It was after we had been texted to come back that I got really frustrated. Once in the workshop, we waited another hour! The kids (and the adults) were very tired of waiting by the time it was our turn. The wait at Macy's is usually about twenty minutes total.
 |
| Waiting for our turn with Santa, riding the carousel . . . |
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| "Look how big that tree is!" thought Noah. |
And really, the wait was worth it. Knowing that Veronica may be a little nervous about Santa, this week I have been showing pictures to her of Santa, talking about him and asking her if she wants to give him a hug. Her answer was always 'yes.'
So once we turned the corner and she could see him today, she couldn't wait to get to him. She started wriggling in my arms, I brought her over to him, she said, "Hello," and gave him an enormous hug. Even the staff at Nordstom's couldn't believe it. I explained how I had tried to prep her and they said they might add it to their tips on their web site. The picture was great and without tears, a feat that is not always possible with an 18 month old. Before we could leave, Veronica insisted on giving Santa one more hug. I love that girl so much.
I also got to speak to a five year old girl while we were waiting in line and was amused by her Christmas list of about ten things she was going to ask Santa for, including an iPod Touch and another baby, even though she has about a million of them at home. Wow. When our boys were asked what they wanted, they both answered with their one toy that they would like for Christmas. Even Santa was surprised and asked if there was anything else. They actually said no! I was very surprised and also pretty relieved :)
It's been a great start to our holiday season. Tomorrow Jason takes Adrienne home, which is hard because it's such a short visit. But we will have her again the week after Christmas, so at least the wait won't be too long. And while he is gone for a lot of the day, I plan to relax and read my book after all of our holiday action this week. :)
Happy Holidays!
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| All dressed up with many fun places to go! |
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| All tuckered out after all of the festivities. |
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
Create a Thanksgiving Slideshow
This week is all about being thankful. It is a time to reflect on the blessings in our lives and to appreciate all that we have.
Sometimes, it can feel as though I'm being put on the spot--
Quick, quick, what are your blessings? Do you feel grateful? Do you? Do you?
It can be difficult to create or force sincere gratitude. Sure, we all rationally know how blessed we are and we are thankful. But there are moments in life when I am so overwhelmed by the feeling of gratitude that I am overcome with joy and moved to tears. How do you create that?
It can be especially difficult for us moms as we prepare for a holiday. There is grocery shopping to do, pies to bake, clothes to pick out and iron, a house to clean, etc, etc. While dealing with the stress of added items to your to-do list, are you feeling genuine gratitude? Maybe you are. But some of us might need a little help :)
Something that has helped me this week is pretty simple and only took about twenty minutes or so. I changed the screen saver on my laptop. How does this make me feel thankful?
Well, I have basically created a Thanksgiving slideshow to be my screensaver. I have also done this for Halloween and Christmas with pictures featuring those holidays. I also plan to do this for each child, making a slideshow featuring that child to have playing around the time of their birthdays.
I do have some Thanksgiving photos that I have added to this slideshow. But the majority of the photos I have added are from special moments in the past year or two. Veronica's birth. Family vacations. Kristen's 21st birthday. Our anniversary. Time spent with friends. Our new puppy. Veronica's baptism. Kristal, strong and healthy and on the other side of chemo, running a 5K. Jason and I becoming godparents, strengthening our friendship with two different families. My surprise 30th birthday party. Grandparents and great grandparents bonding with our children. Seeing our children growing up before our eyes.
Visual reminders of all of the blessings in my life.
Reviewing all of the photos we've taken in this way helps me to pause from all of the to-do's and recall how very rich my life is. A few days ago, I overheard Joshua ask Noah, "Have you ever had a dream come true?" This question makes me smile and also makes me realize once again that most of my dreams have come true.
I have set my computer settings so that this slideshow begins after only a minute of inactivity and angled my screen toward the kitchen so that I can watch it while I cook and wash the dishes. To further the sentiment, I have the soundtracks to certain movies playing that make me feel reflective.
While I realize how busy all the moms are this week, especially those of you hosting the holiday meal, make sure to take some time and truly reflect on your blessings. You deserve that. You deserve to experience this holiday with genuine gratitude and joy in your hearts. The moms I know work so hard at creating and building beautiful homes, families and lives around them. If need be, skip the laundry this week. It will still be there on Monday, I promise. Have popcorn for dinner tonight. Whatever you need to do to create a little time for yourself and reflect on the riches of your life.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Sometimes, it can feel as though I'm being put on the spot--
Quick, quick, what are your blessings? Do you feel grateful? Do you? Do you?
It can be difficult to create or force sincere gratitude. Sure, we all rationally know how blessed we are and we are thankful. But there are moments in life when I am so overwhelmed by the feeling of gratitude that I am overcome with joy and moved to tears. How do you create that?
It can be especially difficult for us moms as we prepare for a holiday. There is grocery shopping to do, pies to bake, clothes to pick out and iron, a house to clean, etc, etc. While dealing with the stress of added items to your to-do list, are you feeling genuine gratitude? Maybe you are. But some of us might need a little help :)
Something that has helped me this week is pretty simple and only took about twenty minutes or so. I changed the screen saver on my laptop. How does this make me feel thankful?
Well, I have basically created a Thanksgiving slideshow to be my screensaver. I have also done this for Halloween and Christmas with pictures featuring those holidays. I also plan to do this for each child, making a slideshow featuring that child to have playing around the time of their birthdays.
I do have some Thanksgiving photos that I have added to this slideshow. But the majority of the photos I have added are from special moments in the past year or two. Veronica's birth. Family vacations. Kristen's 21st birthday. Our anniversary. Time spent with friends. Our new puppy. Veronica's baptism. Kristal, strong and healthy and on the other side of chemo, running a 5K. Jason and I becoming godparents, strengthening our friendship with two different families. My surprise 30th birthday party. Grandparents and great grandparents bonding with our children. Seeing our children growing up before our eyes.
Visual reminders of all of the blessings in my life.
Reviewing all of the photos we've taken in this way helps me to pause from all of the to-do's and recall how very rich my life is. A few days ago, I overheard Joshua ask Noah, "Have you ever had a dream come true?" This question makes me smile and also makes me realize once again that most of my dreams have come true.
I have set my computer settings so that this slideshow begins after only a minute of inactivity and angled my screen toward the kitchen so that I can watch it while I cook and wash the dishes. To further the sentiment, I have the soundtracks to certain movies playing that make me feel reflective.
While I realize how busy all the moms are this week, especially those of you hosting the holiday meal, make sure to take some time and truly reflect on your blessings. You deserve that. You deserve to experience this holiday with genuine gratitude and joy in your hearts. The moms I know work so hard at creating and building beautiful homes, families and lives around them. If need be, skip the laundry this week. It will still be there on Monday, I promise. Have popcorn for dinner tonight. Whatever you need to do to create a little time for yourself and reflect on the riches of your life.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Saturday, November 3, 2012
Kahlua!
Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness. It is high times in the Burdullis house this weekend. I didn't even know we had a missing part of our family. But we did. And now she's here.As many of you know, we got a puppy this weekend. You can read about how that came to be here. Well, our introduction of Kahlua to the children did not go quite as expected. We actually ended up bringing her over to the house spontaneously on Friday afternoon. Jason was working from home yesterday because I attended a funeral in the morning, so he was able to be there for all of it.
It's funny how you create crazy expectations in your mind. We weren't able to wrap up all of the new doggie supplies as an early Santa present for the boys like I had described, since we brought Kahlua home a day early. When my brother and I arrived, I carried Kahlua downstairs to where the boys were playing. I asked if they would like to keep her, and they smiled and said yes.
Did they start jumping up and down and screaming in hysterical merriment? No. Not so much. Did they exclaim, "Thank you, thank you, Mom and Dad for letting us get a dog!" Nope. Notta. Their initial reaction was happy but not all that excited. In fact the rest of the day was kind of chaotic. Kahlua was great. But the kids could almost not handle or express their happiness and excitement about a new puppy. By the end of the day, they had all melted down.
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| With her Gentle Leader harness on, about to enjoy her first dinner at our house. She can eat, bark, drink and pant with it on. |
Then the boys played with her outside for a long time. She fetches really well, which surprised me. And after all of that exercise and excitement, a lot of time has been spent just snuggling. She is quite a love and the kids all dote on her. Veronica gives her these very gentle, sweet, dainty hugs and kisses. Joshua loves to run around with her in the back yard and throw the ball for her.
And then there's Noah. The formation of Noah's relationship with Kahlua is already beginning to tug on my heartstrings. Noah is so shy and has been working so hard this year on his eye therapy and on being polite in social situations.
It is such a blessing to see him so naturally bond and connect with Kahlua.
So when I see Kahlua napping on the couch with Noah nuzzling into her fur, both of them in affectionate, boy's-best-friend bliss, I am actually witnessing a need of Noah's be met more fully than I can fulfill it.
I have read about how dogs love unconditionally, but I really just had no idea. Really experiencing that; witnessing your children's experience of that; watching a dog love your child the way you do and providing something for that child that you can't always--well, that's what has happened this weekend.
Our hearts and our joy have grown.
:)
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
The History of Dogs in the Burdullis Home
(PLEASE NOTE: This post is about how we have come to be getting a dog this weekend. THIS IS A SURPRISE FOR OUR CHILDREN. They have no idea! I feel comfortable posting this because we won't really be seeing anyone who will read this before Saturday. But for goodness sake, if we do see you, PLEASE do not ruin the surprise! Thanks!)
When I was about four, my parents surprised us with a beagle on Christmas morning who we named Sherlock. He was a dumb dog. My older brother, Damian, took him to obedience classes but afterwards Sherlock wasn't any more obedient than he had been prior. We have many stories about that dog, but one that sticks out was during the winter when he peed in the heat register so that each time the heat switched on in the house, there would be the renewed odor of dog urine. He dug out of our fully fenced backyard many times until one day, he ran away and we never found him again.
Later on when I was a teenager, we were given another dog, Coco, who was an absolute delight, although she seemed more like my younger siblings' dog as I was older then.
Despite my first dog, I have always been a "dog person." When Jason and I were shortly married and beginning to start our family in our townhouse (with about a 10' by 10' back "yard"), we decided to get a dog. Following the advice we'd been given to choose the calmest dog at the pound, we chose a medium sized German shepherd mix who was very relaxed and named him Zeus. We soon found out that the reason for Zeus' calm demeanor was that he was sick. Once he recovered a couple of weeks later, we discovered his true personality as very energetic, strong-willed and mischievous. A month later, the pound generously took him back and assured us that they would find a better-suited home with more room for such an energetic dog. I still feel somewhat guilty about that and hope that Zeus found the right family.
That was about seven years ago. Since then, we have been waiting for the right time. That is, I have. Jason has more likely been waiting to see if my dreams of a dog joining our family would disappear. We now have a house with plenty of room and a large, fully fenced back yard. And while my dog fever has never subsided, I had accepted Jason's reason and practicality when he explained why we should wait another year or two. He has further explained that he would be much quicker to get a dog if we could have some type of guarantee that it would be a good dog, such as my brother's dog, Coco (named after our childhood dog), who is also a delight. But of course, there is no guarantee, is there?
So we haven't been looking or really considering getting a dog any time soon. But on Monday, the phone rang. My brother, Jeremy, explained that his girlfriend, Alicia, had been looking on Craigslist for months for puppies the same breed as Coco, who is half border collie and half Australian shepherd. On Monday morning, a breeder had posted two puppies who they were giving away for free. The mother had eight puppies and the breeders had found buyers for six of them. After two months, they still had two of the pups and were ready to give them away. Jeremy and Alicia would be seeing them at 5pm that evening. The question was, did we want one?
My instinct was of course, YES! But I called Jason before answering so that we could decide together. And after several long minutes of listening to silence as Jason's wheels turned on the other end of the line, he said okay. Even he could see that an opportunity like this would most likely not happen again. A female puppy the exact same breed as my brother's dog, who we love, for free? Um, well okay then!
I couldn't feel that it was any more meant to be.
In the past couple of days, a few people (including a couple of random strangers at Walmart) have found it necessary to explain to me that puppies require a lot of work. In fact, I guess you're supposed to train them or something. What?! Who knew?!
Yes, I realize puppies are a lot of work, but I am not afraid of hard work. Most often, hard work is rewarded and in this case, I am so excited to be adding another blessing to our home. Cesar Millan's books and DVD's are on their way to our home as well as a crate and a gentle leader, so hopefully that will help us to have a good start.
So far, Jason and I have only seen pictures and video of our puppy who we have named Kahlua. She is beautiful. Last night I stocked up on lots of doggy essentials at Walmart. Then we watched Marley & Me. And now we just wait in eager anticipation for Saturday.
On Saturday morning, there will be a package wrapped in Christmas paper waiting in the living room for the kids with a letter from Santa, saying he brought them an early Christmas present. Inside will be all the new doggy supplies, which will undoubtedly confuse the boys and bring up some intriguing conversation.
We don't have a dog! Why would Santa give us this stuff?
Later that morning, it will all make sense when Jeremy brings us Kahlua, confirming that Santa sees all and that he knew we would be receiving a dog that day, which is why he gave the boys an early present.
Most likely, many more posts and pictures to follow :)
When I was about four, my parents surprised us with a beagle on Christmas morning who we named Sherlock. He was a dumb dog. My older brother, Damian, took him to obedience classes but afterwards Sherlock wasn't any more obedient than he had been prior. We have many stories about that dog, but one that sticks out was during the winter when he peed in the heat register so that each time the heat switched on in the house, there would be the renewed odor of dog urine. He dug out of our fully fenced backyard many times until one day, he ran away and we never found him again.
Later on when I was a teenager, we were given another dog, Coco, who was an absolute delight, although she seemed more like my younger siblings' dog as I was older then.
Despite my first dog, I have always been a "dog person." When Jason and I were shortly married and beginning to start our family in our townhouse (with about a 10' by 10' back "yard"), we decided to get a dog. Following the advice we'd been given to choose the calmest dog at the pound, we chose a medium sized German shepherd mix who was very relaxed and named him Zeus. We soon found out that the reason for Zeus' calm demeanor was that he was sick. Once he recovered a couple of weeks later, we discovered his true personality as very energetic, strong-willed and mischievous. A month later, the pound generously took him back and assured us that they would find a better-suited home with more room for such an energetic dog. I still feel somewhat guilty about that and hope that Zeus found the right family.
That was about seven years ago. Since then, we have been waiting for the right time. That is, I have. Jason has more likely been waiting to see if my dreams of a dog joining our family would disappear. We now have a house with plenty of room and a large, fully fenced back yard. And while my dog fever has never subsided, I had accepted Jason's reason and practicality when he explained why we should wait another year or two. He has further explained that he would be much quicker to get a dog if we could have some type of guarantee that it would be a good dog, such as my brother's dog, Coco (named after our childhood dog), who is also a delight. But of course, there is no guarantee, is there?
So we haven't been looking or really considering getting a dog any time soon. But on Monday, the phone rang. My brother, Jeremy, explained that his girlfriend, Alicia, had been looking on Craigslist for months for puppies the same breed as Coco, who is half border collie and half Australian shepherd. On Monday morning, a breeder had posted two puppies who they were giving away for free. The mother had eight puppies and the breeders had found buyers for six of them. After two months, they still had two of the pups and were ready to give them away. Jeremy and Alicia would be seeing them at 5pm that evening. The question was, did we want one?
My instinct was of course, YES! But I called Jason before answering so that we could decide together. And after several long minutes of listening to silence as Jason's wheels turned on the other end of the line, he said okay. Even he could see that an opportunity like this would most likely not happen again. A female puppy the exact same breed as my brother's dog, who we love, for free? Um, well okay then!
I couldn't feel that it was any more meant to be.
In the past couple of days, a few people (including a couple of random strangers at Walmart) have found it necessary to explain to me that puppies require a lot of work. In fact, I guess you're supposed to train them or something. What?! Who knew?!
Yes, I realize puppies are a lot of work, but I am not afraid of hard work. Most often, hard work is rewarded and in this case, I am so excited to be adding another blessing to our home. Cesar Millan's books and DVD's are on their way to our home as well as a crate and a gentle leader, so hopefully that will help us to have a good start.
So far, Jason and I have only seen pictures and video of our puppy who we have named Kahlua. She is beautiful. Last night I stocked up on lots of doggy essentials at Walmart. Then we watched Marley & Me. And now we just wait in eager anticipation for Saturday.
On Saturday morning, there will be a package wrapped in Christmas paper waiting in the living room for the kids with a letter from Santa, saying he brought them an early Christmas present. Inside will be all the new doggy supplies, which will undoubtedly confuse the boys and bring up some intriguing conversation.
We don't have a dog! Why would Santa give us this stuff?
Later that morning, it will all make sense when Jeremy brings us Kahlua, confirming that Santa sees all and that he knew we would be receiving a dog that day, which is why he gave the boys an early present.
Most likely, many more posts and pictures to follow :)
Sunday, October 14, 2012
Who We Are
This is my absolute favorite time of year. I love that the weather is ideal to snuggle up on the couch with a blanket and a good book or movie. I love that the leaves change to brilliant colors of fire, transforming our landscape into God's mural. I love the preparation and anticipation for the fall and winter holidays, the decorations in the house and the abundance of comfort food.
Above all, I love family, friends and tradition.
Today we made our annual visit to the pumpkin patch at Carlton Farm in Lake Stevens. With rubber boots on, we ritually paraded through this year's crop and chose our three prizes. As we left, I asked the boys how many years we would continue to do this. Their answer was "forever."
I hope so.
When asked what we would take with us if our home was burning down, many of us think of photographs. I would most certainly try to grab our wedding albums, family albums, laptop (more photos) and a special frame in our bedroom containing our wedding invitation, our betrothal letters from our Engaged Encounter weekend and a photo of Jason and I before one of my bridal showers.
But what is it that we photograph? Most often it is our rituals.
Birthday parties, holidays, sacraments, weddings, babies being born, proms, the list goes on and on. Of course, I also try to take photos of our everyday life. But the majority of our pictures are a record of our rituals.
And this is because our rituals, our traditions are a reminder of the time that silently sneaks by without much notice. Here we are - another holiday season to prepare for. How many of us are befuddled, wondering where the last year has gone?
I browsed our photos from last fall to remind myself what our children were like one year ago. Of course, the most change has been in Veronica. Last year, she was full of baby's first babbling and learning to crawl. I found this video:
Our rituals remind us to reflect back like this and appreciate the passing of life. If our house was burning down, I would definitely try to grab those photos if I could. But besides our family, the most important thing I would take with me is not something that I would have to grab. It is something that stays with me wherever I go, no matter what happens. It is what all of those photographs are attempting to document.
If our home was consumed by flames, I would surely take with me our rituals. For it is our rituals that make up who we are.
Above all, I love family, friends and tradition.
Today we made our annual visit to the pumpkin patch at Carlton Farm in Lake Stevens. With rubber boots on, we ritually paraded through this year's crop and chose our three prizes. As we left, I asked the boys how many years we would continue to do this. Their answer was "forever."
I hope so.
When asked what we would take with us if our home was burning down, many of us think of photographs. I would most certainly try to grab our wedding albums, family albums, laptop (more photos) and a special frame in our bedroom containing our wedding invitation, our betrothal letters from our Engaged Encounter weekend and a photo of Jason and I before one of my bridal showers.
But what is it that we photograph? Most often it is our rituals.
Birthday parties, holidays, sacraments, weddings, babies being born, proms, the list goes on and on. Of course, I also try to take photos of our everyday life. But the majority of our pictures are a record of our rituals.
And this is because our rituals, our traditions are a reminder of the time that silently sneaks by without much notice. Here we are - another holiday season to prepare for. How many of us are befuddled, wondering where the last year has gone?
I browsed our photos from last fall to remind myself what our children were like one year ago. Of course, the most change has been in Veronica. Last year, she was full of baby's first babbling and learning to crawl. I found this video:
Our rituals remind us to reflect back like this and appreciate the passing of life. If our house was burning down, I would definitely try to grab those photos if I could. But besides our family, the most important thing I would take with me is not something that I would have to grab. It is something that stays with me wherever I go, no matter what happens. It is what all of those photographs are attempting to document.
If our home was consumed by flames, I would surely take with me our rituals. For it is our rituals that make up who we are.
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| Joshua at the pumpkin cannon - a highlight of the outing |
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| Veronica's new cheesy smile she pulls out each time she sees a camera |
Saturday, October 13, 2012
Stubbornly Shy
Children are amazing. Each day, I am in awe by something new I have discovered in one of my children. A new word. A new skill developed. A new kindness given.
Yesterday, I was completely and utterly amazed by Noah's newfound sense of stubbornness.
Noah is my shy boy. It's just who he is. It's in his genes. Apparently my grandmother thought I needed therapy when I was at his age of five due to my extreme shyness. I eventually grew out of it. Jason also struggled with shyness, so it is no wonder we have created a child who is painfully shy.
While I try to accept this about Noah, I also want to encourage him to open up and teach him to be polite. Very often when an adult speaks to Noah, he will just act like nothing has happened and not respond. He seems to believe that if he just looks the other way, no one will notice.
Noah has had eye therapy with the same therapist every week for over a month now. The first day he refused to even participate. But since then, he has done a great job at each session. That is, until the end. Even though he will have played games with his therapist, Therese, entirely on his own for forty-five minutes, he will not say thank you and goodbye to her when we leave. Therese is working with Noah to help him overcome many different types of obstacles and also wants to encourage him to grow in this area. So next week, if he won't say thank you and goodbye when I ask him to, he will not receive his weekly treat from the treasure box that he usually gets as a reward for a job well done.
I spoke with both of the boys this week about how to greet adults; saying hello with a smile, calling the adult by name, asking the adult how they are doing, saying it's good to see them, thanking them for inviting them over to their house or for coming to ours, etc.
Yesterday, we went to Jenny's house. Our two families are dear friends and Jenny is an adult who they are very comfortable with. As we drove up to their house, I reminded the boys to greet her.
Looking in the rear view mirror, I could see Noah's body begin to tense. I tried to reassure him that I would be right there, I would hold his hand and that all he had to do was say "hi" back to Jenny when she said hello to him.
I asked him if he was going to do what I was asking. He said no. Again I tried to reassure him. Still his answer was no. After much conversation, I told him that if wouldn't be polite to Jenny, he was going to stay in the car. He chose the car. I brought the other children into the house and after settling in, I checked on Noah to see if he'd changed his mind. He hadn't.
Because I didn't want to just leave him in the car, I brought him into the house and had him sit in the office by himself in a chair with the door closed. It's a glass door, so I could see that he stayed in the chair.
Remember, all I wanted him to do was say "hi."
FOR FIVE HOURS, Noah stayed in that chair other than to go to the bathroom. I checked in on him regularly to see if he changed his mind. I tried to encourage him in every way that I could. He missed playing, watching a movie, chocolate milk and lunch. With each thing, he chose to skip it rather than say hi.
While I was very frustrated with him, I was also in awe of his commitment, persistence and dedication to his decision. He really only cried when I tried to make him say hi. Otherwise, he pretty much just sat there quietly in the chair.
After five hours of this, we went home. I wasn't sure what to do at that point. Jason and I were supposed to drop the children off with friends that evening so that we could go out on a date. But I wasn't sure that was a very good idea after such disobedience from Noah. I was considering just dropping off Joshua and Veronica, and having an at-home date while Noah had dinner in his room and went to bed early. His only explanation of his behavior was he said he was tired. So an early bed time seemed logical.
But after discussing what had happened with Noah in the car, he said that he was sorry, that it won't ever happen again and that he will begin saying "hi" to adults. He seemed very sincere and for the most part, if Noah has no intention of doing something, he won't tell us that he's going to do it. He will just very matter-of-factly say, "No, I don't think I want to do that" until his mind is changed.
I was a little bit floored. Really? You mean, you learned your lesson?
"Yep."
Will you call Ms. Jenny right now and apologize?
"Yep." Which he immediately did.
Will you say "hi" to Ms. Jennifer and Mr. Jason who are watching you tonight?
"Yep." Which he did no problem after I reminded him. So we did get to go out on our date :)
This was all sort of a shock to me. Does this happen? Do children really sometimes go through one difficult episode and then "learn their lesson?" While Joshua has grown and matured leaps and bounds, this has been slow, very gradual progress that has oozed by in his seven years of life. Never, ever, ever has one instance of discipline gotten through to Joshua. It often feels like we are banging our head against the wall, taking two steps forward and one step back.
Now of course, this is sometimes the case with Noah too. And I obviously don't expect Noah's shyness to be cured. But it was a great reward to, at least for a moment, witness immediate benefits of discipline and of sticking to my guns. Those five hours were long. It was nice to end the situation with the feeling that my lesson to Noah may have actually been successful. Usually when it comes to discipline, I'm left hoping that we will reap the benefits of it someday in the future. And most likely, the distant future. Surely not on the same day!
When it was all said and done, I actually felt kind of proud of Noah. So I gave him a hug, told him I loved him and fed him a huge plate of meatloaf and sweet potatoes.
Yesterday, I was completely and utterly amazed by Noah's newfound sense of stubbornness.
While I try to accept this about Noah, I also want to encourage him to open up and teach him to be polite. Very often when an adult speaks to Noah, he will just act like nothing has happened and not respond. He seems to believe that if he just looks the other way, no one will notice.
Noah has had eye therapy with the same therapist every week for over a month now. The first day he refused to even participate. But since then, he has done a great job at each session. That is, until the end. Even though he will have played games with his therapist, Therese, entirely on his own for forty-five minutes, he will not say thank you and goodbye to her when we leave. Therese is working with Noah to help him overcome many different types of obstacles and also wants to encourage him to grow in this area. So next week, if he won't say thank you and goodbye when I ask him to, he will not receive his weekly treat from the treasure box that he usually gets as a reward for a job well done.
I spoke with both of the boys this week about how to greet adults; saying hello with a smile, calling the adult by name, asking the adult how they are doing, saying it's good to see them, thanking them for inviting them over to their house or for coming to ours, etc.
Yesterday, we went to Jenny's house. Our two families are dear friends and Jenny is an adult who they are very comfortable with. As we drove up to their house, I reminded the boys to greet her.
Looking in the rear view mirror, I could see Noah's body begin to tense. I tried to reassure him that I would be right there, I would hold his hand and that all he had to do was say "hi" back to Jenny when she said hello to him.
I asked him if he was going to do what I was asking. He said no. Again I tried to reassure him. Still his answer was no. After much conversation, I told him that if wouldn't be polite to Jenny, he was going to stay in the car. He chose the car. I brought the other children into the house and after settling in, I checked on Noah to see if he'd changed his mind. He hadn't.
Because I didn't want to just leave him in the car, I brought him into the house and had him sit in the office by himself in a chair with the door closed. It's a glass door, so I could see that he stayed in the chair.
Remember, all I wanted him to do was say "hi."
FOR FIVE HOURS, Noah stayed in that chair other than to go to the bathroom. I checked in on him regularly to see if he changed his mind. I tried to encourage him in every way that I could. He missed playing, watching a movie, chocolate milk and lunch. With each thing, he chose to skip it rather than say hi.
While I was very frustrated with him, I was also in awe of his commitment, persistence and dedication to his decision. He really only cried when I tried to make him say hi. Otherwise, he pretty much just sat there quietly in the chair.
After five hours of this, we went home. I wasn't sure what to do at that point. Jason and I were supposed to drop the children off with friends that evening so that we could go out on a date. But I wasn't sure that was a very good idea after such disobedience from Noah. I was considering just dropping off Joshua and Veronica, and having an at-home date while Noah had dinner in his room and went to bed early. His only explanation of his behavior was he said he was tired. So an early bed time seemed logical.
But after discussing what had happened with Noah in the car, he said that he was sorry, that it won't ever happen again and that he will begin saying "hi" to adults. He seemed very sincere and for the most part, if Noah has no intention of doing something, he won't tell us that he's going to do it. He will just very matter-of-factly say, "No, I don't think I want to do that" until his mind is changed.
I was a little bit floored. Really? You mean, you learned your lesson?
"Yep."
Will you call Ms. Jenny right now and apologize?
"Yep." Which he immediately did.
Will you say "hi" to Ms. Jennifer and Mr. Jason who are watching you tonight?
"Yep." Which he did no problem after I reminded him. So we did get to go out on our date :)
This was all sort of a shock to me. Does this happen? Do children really sometimes go through one difficult episode and then "learn their lesson?" While Joshua has grown and matured leaps and bounds, this has been slow, very gradual progress that has oozed by in his seven years of life. Never, ever, ever has one instance of discipline gotten through to Joshua. It often feels like we are banging our head against the wall, taking two steps forward and one step back.
Now of course, this is sometimes the case with Noah too. And I obviously don't expect Noah's shyness to be cured. But it was a great reward to, at least for a moment, witness immediate benefits of discipline and of sticking to my guns. Those five hours were long. It was nice to end the situation with the feeling that my lesson to Noah may have actually been successful. Usually when it comes to discipline, I'm left hoping that we will reap the benefits of it someday in the future. And most likely, the distant future. Surely not on the same day!
When it was all said and done, I actually felt kind of proud of Noah. So I gave him a hug, told him I loved him and fed him a huge plate of meatloaf and sweet potatoes.
 |
| At least one form of stubbornness is perseverance, which came in useful during the boys cross country season :) |
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| Noah kicking it in at the finish |
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| Look at that stride! |
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| Veronica's new cheesy camera smile |
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| With their game faces on before the championship race |
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| The beginning of the race |
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| Bringing it home |
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| Our cheerleader |
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| Papa's treat at Dick's - a great way to end the season :) |
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