Sunday, January 17, 2010

Noah's Shenanigans - The Week of Pee and Pea

Our second son, Noah, is two and a half and we have recently potty trained him. Through this process, it has become abundantly more clear that Noah will most likely provide us with hysterical material throughout parenthood. And so, "Noah's Shenanigans" is born and updates will be posted as quick as I can write them, because they seem to be coming rapid fire lately. Here's the best-of so far:

Shenanigan #1

The first one has to be told despite the incident occurring about a year ago. It's that good. Our eldest son, Joshua, raced up the stairs to announce, "Noah's in trouble." Uh-oh. I flew down the stairs to find our one year old sitting on the laundry room floor, of which the walls were covered with soaked cat food and cat litter. My eyes scanned the room and my son to find a trail of dirty, lumpy, gravelly water coming out of the cat litter box and a stomach-turning, ominous, gray circle around Noah's mouth. Yes, one year old's do like to put everything in their mouths - thumbs, pacifiers, bottles, toys, books, cat tails, sand, and yes, dirty cat litter we've found. A call to poison control assured us that, no, it is not toxic for the child---just plain revolting.

Shenanigan #2

Bout a week ago, while potty training, Noah was perched on his throne, doing his business while I got some laundry together. A minute later, I walked into the bathroom to find my son looking quite confused and contemplative, his bangs dripping wet. His shoulders, neck, chest, face, the rest of his hair, head and seemingly every other single part of his body were perfectly dry. On further inspection, it was confirmed that yes, his bangs were soaked with urine. What can I say? He's talented. I would challenge any man to try and accomplish that feat. Yeah, go ahead and try.

Shenanigan #3

The very next day, Noah was again on the toilet, and I had the pleasure of hearing him sing to himself, in a very high-pitched sing-songy voice the following line, repeatedly: "Penis - where are you?" Won't that be fun to tell his future wife?

Shenanigan #4

On Friday, we were running a little late to meet another couple for a 6:30 dinner reservation. We had just finished giving directions to the babysitter, were about to escape and then discovered that Noah had stuck a pea astonishingly far up his right nostril. It could not be blown out. It would not descend with a pinching and mushing of the nose. No, it was like surgery on our bed as I retrieved the vegetable with my tweezers. Another classic Noah Shenanigan.

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