Monday, March 19, 2012

Changes in Nature and Nurture

What is a person made of? Are we more influenced by nature or nurture? Well, I don't have the answer of course, but I think that it is simply a blend of the two. While this concept is often applied to children, have you ever thought about how it applies to adults?

What are you influenced or "nurtured" by?

In the past few years, I have noticed that my reaction to movies has changed dramatically. I guess this is a natural consequence of motherhood. But in the past year or so, it seems that my aversion to certain types of movies has become even more heightened.

 In the past year or so, I have had two strong experiences with this. Both times, Jason and I were watching a movie where there was a very graphic, raw sex scene. My reaction was dramatic and maybe even irrational.

The first time, I was pregnant and we were watching The American. I was obviously extra hormonal and I felt fat and unattractive at the time. The sex scene was shallow, voyeuristic and included full frontal nudity of a beautiful, thin woman. I became livid. I felt like these images had invaded our home, my mind and the mind of my husband. I felt betrayed by our television and even by Jason for not understanding my strong reaction.

The second time was more recent. We were watching Monster's Ball, which includes another graphic sex scene. This time Jason and I had learned but we were still unsure of what to do. We were enjoying the movie, but the scene was upsetting me. It kept seeming like the scene was about to end but it just kept on going. I wasn't quite as hormonal this time and was able to share my feelings in a more rational way :) I was able to tell Jason that if something like that comes on, I just need him to turn it off.

This did not use to be the case; I had a thicker skin. My role of motherhood has become my nature.

I can now sense more fully how I am "nurtured." A book or a movie can now have a stronger impact on me. This can be a good or a bad thing. When I choose what I am nurtured by, I can then influence the person that I am becoming.

There is a balance to this. I really don't like super cheesy, corny, "Chicken Soup for the Soul" type books, movies or music. Not to criticize others who do - it's just not my style. I like things that are very REAL. I always have. It was frustrating for me to to turn off Monster's Ball. It was a wonderful film with strong character development and I would like to know how it turned out. But I also don't want to chance watching another explicit scene that would upset me.

When I find the right balance, my spirit can be moved by the right story or the right music, and I can grow as a person. There have been several books or movies that have had this type of life-changing influence on me. I am on the search for more of those.

Occasionally, you may see me feature one here as a Mamma Vintage Top Pick.

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