This week, my attitude has been changing. I can feel my heart and my spirit growing, swelling within me.
For quite a while now, I have felt like I could not get on top of things, like I was always a little behind. It seemed that I was living inside my head, constantly forming a never-ending to-do list, not being fully present to my family or the world around me. Have you ever felt like that?
I am rereading a book that helped me immensely a few years ago called A Mother's Rule of Life. This book helped bring meaning and purpose to my role as a mother. It helped me be able to see that role as my vocation and understand what that meant.
This book changed my perspective so much that I have been avoiding reading it again. I knew that it held the answers to many of the issues I was struggling with, but I also was aware of the work and change involved to overcome them. Do you ever fight against change, really battle internally against it, even when you know that it will be change for the better? Why do I do this?
One benefit of following A Mother's Rule is that I can stop living in my head so much. I can begin to see my life with more clarity and more authority. Rather than feeling as though life is wearing me out, I can begin to feel as though I have the energy and the grace to wear life out!
I say grace because this is not through my own power, but only because of the strength and wisdom and peace I find in the Lord. When I rely on Him, and when I live my life for Him each day, I am able to accomplish so much more. When I offer my efforts up to God, He blesses them and they multiply. Suddenly life doesn't seem so chaotic and my days don't seem so unmanageable.
When this is the case, I am so much less stressed, less anxious, less worried. My shoulders relax. I smile more. I spend more time with my children, really listening to them and enjoying them. It helps me not to yell so much :)