Bad Days

Sometimes I feel like a bad mom. Sometimes I can't be around them anymore. Sometimes by the end of the day, I am so utterly exhausted and I really, desperately need a break.

This is what my kitchen regularly looks like. Dishes to be washed. Food to be put away. Toys to be put away. Mail to be sorted. Broken toys. Toys that need batteries. The wine in the back is sounding pretty good :)

Did my mom have days like this? If she did, I sure don't remember. I just remember homemade cookies, pot roast and how she was such a fun Girl Scout leader. Maybe my kids won't remember my bad days either.

From this side you can see the open Diet Coke can and the kitchen table that is covered with two different art projects that still need to be cleaned up.

The past few weeks have been especially difficult; I have two large events for two different ministries that I volunteer for (and love) in the next three weeks. Furthermore, Veronica has been sick a lot, making her especially cranky and confusing. She has perfected a high pitch, screechy, pissed off yell that gets under my skin. I don't always respond lovingly or maturely.

When a day like this comes along, it can be difficult to tell if I am just really tired or if I'm getting sick. Thankfully, Jason has a very receptive radar for when I have a particularly rough day. When a day like this comes along, I retreat from our usual family dinner and eat alone on the couch in front of the TV. Not my best mom moment, but sometimes it seems necessary.

Right now there are two loads of laundry that need to be folded, dishes that need to be washed and children that need to be bathed. I could probably use a shower too, because that hasn't happened today either.

Do you have days like this? How do you handle them? How do you avoid them?

Here I am at the end of a tiring day, without makeup or a shower. I have retreated to the couch for the evening, writing on my blog, grasping with both hands for a little sanctuary.